Tips on calling out your racist family & friends

CALL OUT YOUR RACIST FAMILY. CALL OUT YOUR RACIST FRIENDS. CALL OUT RACIST STRANGERS. CALL OUT ANYONE WHO IS RESPONDING TO “BLACK LIVES MATTER” WITH “ALL LIVES MATTER”. DON’T BITE YOUR TONGUE TO SAVE RELATIONSHIPS WITH SHITTY PEOPLE. 

Racism is not a difference of opinion. Racism is dehumanising oppression. It’s a difference in morality. White people, it’s our job to call out other white people when they’re saying or expressing racist things, however “unintentional” it may be. 
You’re an ally? Prove it. Stop hiding behind the shadows of racists because you’ve known them all your life. 
Call out your racist family, friends, acquaintances. You cannot support a movement while the people closest to you are being racist.  
Hold them accountable for the bigotry they spew. Talk to them, have conversations with them about racism in your area, the history of white supremacy, our contribution to our racist society and ways that we can change and be actively anti-racist. Call them and out and try and educate them. And if they don’t listen? Cya hun.  
Do not defend or enable that shit. This is not a difference in opinion. This is a difference is morality.  

I have personally got no trouble cutting off family, friends, neighbors, colleagues or followers who are racist, defend racism or support racists. This is not something I will overlook. If you think just because we are connected in some way that I will accept that in you, you are mistaken. 

TIPS:
1. Understand that you cannot single-handedly change a person’s mind if they are not ready to do so. Don’t expect immediate change. In fact, don’t expect change at all. Walk into the conversation being aware of that. Lower your expectations. 
 
2. Stay calm. Even if things get heated, remain calm. Think about what you’re going to say before you say it and don’t let their behavior/response effect the way you communicate.  
 
3. Understand that some people will listen and some people will not. You cannot help everybody. Don’t burn yourself out on people who are not willing to learn. 
 
4. When a racist comment or joke is made, act dim. Pretend you don’t understand what they mean. They will then have to explain exactly what they meant, forcing them to break down their racism for you. (This is a personal favorite)  

5. Don’t raise your voice. Monitor your tone. Don’t give them ammunition. By this I mean, if you raise your voice and swear at them, they then have the opportunity to say things like “We couldn’t even have a sensible discussion because they were shouting and swearing at me!”. Do not give them that opportunity.   

6. Use accessible language. Using language they don’t understand without explanation can often look like you are trying to assert dominance. People who are convinced they are right don’t want to feel like they are less educated than the person they are talking to and are therefore unlikely to ask you for definitions, in fear of looking stupid.  

7. Instead, it is likely they will get angry. The easier it is to understand, the harder it is to reject. 

8. Recognise that you are about to challenge their views. This will threaten them and when people feel threatened, they will fight, freeze or flee. Be prepared for them to argue or get nasty. Try to remain calm. 

9. State the facts. Say the definitions. Your job is not to win an argument. Your job is to educate. Teach with facts, do not fight with opinion. 

10. Approach with facts rather than emotion. As frustrating as this is, it will help. People have a hard time believing that you can be emotional AND correct.  

Anti-Racism TV & Film

TV & FILMS TO WATCH:

13 (Netflix) 

When they see us (Netflix) 

The hate U give (Amazon) 

Hidden Figures (Amazon) 

Fruitvale station (Netflix) 

Selma (Amazon) 

Rodney King (Netflix) 

12 years a slave (Netflix) 

Maya Angelou: And still I rise (Amazon) 

Whose streets? (Amazon) 

Just Mercy (Amazon) 

Becoming (Netflix) 

I am not your Negro (Amazon) 

Let it fall (Amazon) 

Explained: The Radical Wealth Gap (Netflix) 

Time: The Kalief Browder Story (Netflix) 

When They See Us (Netflix) 

Who killed Malcolm X? (Netflix) 

Dear White People (Netflix) 

Dark Girls (Amazon) 

Get Out (Amazon) 

Mudbound (Netflix) 

The Color Purple (Amazon) 

The Black Power Mixtape (Amazon) 

King in the Wilderness (Amazon) 

American Son (Netflix) 

See You Yesterday (Netflix) 

If Beale Street Could Talk (Amazon) 

Belle (Amazon) 

Reggie Yates: Life and Death in Chicago (BBC iPlayer) 

Shame in the Game: Racism in Football (BBC iPlayer) 

Flint Town (Netflix) 

Strong Island (Netflix) 

Detroit (Netflix) 

Bamboozled (Amazon) 

 

 

Anti-Racism Books to Read

BOOKS TO READ:

How to be an Antiracist By Ibrahim X. Kendi 

Why I’m No Longer Talking to White People about Race By Reni Eddo-Lodge 

The Bluest Eye By Toni Morrison 

Me and White Supremacy By Layla F. Saad 

White Fragility By Robin Diangelo 

Natives By Akala 

Sister Outsider By Audre Lorde 

Brit(ish) By Afua Hirsch 

Mindful of Race By Ruth King 

Have black lives ever mattered? By Mumia Abu-Jamal 

The Warmth of Other Suns: The Epic Story of America’s Great Migration By Isabel Wilkerson 

A Spectacular Secret: Lynching in American Life and Literature By Jacqueline Goldsby 

The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness By Michelle Alexander 

So You Want to Talk About Race By Ijeoma Oluo 

Born a Crime: Stories from a South African Childhood By Trevor Noah 

Biased By Dr. Jennifer Eberhardt 

Wilmington’s Lie: The Murderous Coup of 1898 and the Rise of White Supremacy By David Zucchino 

Raising White Kids: Bringing Up Children In A Racially Unjust America By Jennifer Harvey 

Waking Up White By Debby Irving 

Citizen: An American Lyric By Claudia Rankine 

Brutal Imagination By Cornelius Eady 

BOOKS TO READ

BOOKS TO READ YOUR KIDS:

Thank you Omu By Oge Mura 

One Last Word By Nikki Grimes 

Little Leaders By Vashti Harrison 

Shaking Things Up By Susan Hood 

Just Like Me By Brantley Hunter 

Hair Love by Matthew A. Cherry 

Each Kindness by Jacqueline Woodson 

Saturday By Oge Mora 

Ezra Jack Keats’s books about Peter 

The Youngest Marcher By Cynthia Levinson. 

Not My Idea: A Book About Whiteness By Anastasia Higginbotham 

Let It Shine: Stories of Black Women Freedom Fighters By Andrea Davis Pinkney 

The Day You Begin by Jacqueline Woodson

KIDS (1)

 

Anti-Racism YT Videos to Watch

Sacked model: ‘All white people benefit from racism’ – BBC News 

              https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZFGMiq6uAM 

Racism Is Real • BRAVE NEW FILMS  

             https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fTcSVQJ2h8g 

 How to deconstruct racism, one headline at a time | Baratunde Thurston 

             https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZgkjEdMbSw 

Three Myths about Racism | Candis Watts Smith | TEDxPSU 

             https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7CGJDgO4Fs8  

Black Self / White World — lessons on internalized racism | Jabari Lyles | TEDxTysonsSalon 

             https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HF5K3J_Z8nk 

 Lessons from a Recovering Racist | Andrew Judd | TEDxRuakura 

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dOdsEgPlU_0 

 How to Talk to Kids About Race  

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QNEKbVq_ou4 

 Systemic Racism Explained 

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YrHIQIO_bdQ 

 ‘Reverse Racism’ Is A Giant Lie – Here’s Why 

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-w0LFYhedo0 

 Prejudice and Discrimination: Crash Course Psychology #39 

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7P0iP2Zm6a4 

stuff to watch 3

Black Creators & Influencers to Follow

@ashleemariepreston 

@iamcelinem_ 

@gabalexa 

@kinkyblackeducator 

@flexi.mami 

@shishi.rosep 

@lalyafsaad 

@themoderntherapist 

@anniecans 

@hellodrjoy 

@balancedles 

  @thecameronglover 

@sexedwithirma 

@__rukiat 

@colorofchange 

@munroebergdorf 

@sassy_latte 

@rachel.cargle 

@arianwashere 

@lasaia_wade 

@zengaking 

@basitcom 

@joshuaobawole 

@imara_jones_ 

@themilajam 

@iamsheadiamond 

@raques_wills 

@olavetalks 

@justice4sexualassault

to follow

 

 

 

 

Black Led LGBTQ+ Organizations

House of GG (houseofgg.org)
Trans Justice Funding Project (transjusticefundingproject.org)
The Okra Project (theokraproject.com)
Youth Breakout (youthbreakout.org)
LGBTQ+ Freedom Fund (lgbtqfund.org)
For the Gworls Party (IG: @forthegworls)
Black AIDS Institute ( blackaids.org)
Snap 4 Freedom (https://www.snap4freedom.org/)
Trans Justice Funding Project ( https://www.transjusticefundingproject.org/)
The Okra Project (https://www.theokraproject.com/)
Youth Breakout  (http://www.youthbreakout.org/)
Black and Pink (https://www.blackandpink.org/)
The National Black Justice Coalition (http://nbjc.org)

Email Your MP & Email Templates

Please go to writetothem.co.uk and type in your postcode. Your local MP’s name will show up, click it and it will take you to a page that will allow you to email them.
Below are some templates of things you can email your MP.
Please note: Once you have sent the email you will need to go to your email account and confirm that you want to send this email.
Try to add a new heading or add something to the email to avoid them rejecting duplicates. My suggestions would be “fuck Boris” or “fuck Trump” 🙂

Dear (INSERT),

I am writing to you as a constituent to ask for you to use your voice and stand up against injustice towards Black people overseas and at home, as we are not free from racism in our country. The following issues need to be addressed to make our world a better place, and I ask as someone who supports your work to champion these issues in Parliament.

  1. The UK should immediately suspend the sales of teargas, riot shields and rubber bullets to the US. They are being used to terrorise citizens and we are complicit.
    2. The BAME report into excess covid deaths has shown that a disproportionately high number of BAME communities have been exposed to and suffered from coronavirus compared with white counterparts. There must be action and change to rectify this failure to protect them.
    3. The investigation into the death of Belly Mujinga needs to be reopened and action MUST be taken. Her death was preventable, and her family will suffer her loss for a lifetime. They need justice.
    4. There needs to be further investigation into the death of Sheku Bayoh, who died in police custody here in Scotland. We cannot look on in horror when these issues occur under our own noses.
    5. We need to publicly denounce Trump, on an individual level and as a country as a whole. Nicola Sturgeon’s support of Black Lives Matter was a great start, but the UK government need to be pressured to do the same and to challenge Trump on his declaration of war on the US people.
    I hope you will address and/or support these issues going forward in any way you can. My address is (INSERT), and you can rely on my continued support going forward if you show support to the Black Lives Matter movement.

Yours faithfully,

(INSERT)

_____________________________________________

Dear [MP’S NAME],

My name is [YOUR NAME]. I’m a(n) [OCCUPATION] who has lived in [YOUR CONSTITUENCY] for [LENGTH OF TIME]. Over the past [X] days, the riots in Minneapolis have not only shown the world the systemic racism that is still pervasive in modern societies, it has also exposed the indifference that people in power have towards it. Many who claim to represent the people of the UK have not made any motion to show their support for black people who still suffer from the institutionalised racism that still exists in the UK. Since you are my MP, I want to ask why you have not yet taken a stance on the murder of George Floyd at the hands of the police. Is there anything preventing you from speaking out against it? Can the people of our constituency expect to hear you speak out on this matter soon? I am expecting a detailed response to these questions.

It is easy for people in the UK to look at what happens in the US and say “it’s not as bad in the UK, so there’s no reason to complain”. But this simply isn’t true. According to the Institute of Race Relations, police are 28x more likely to use Section 60 stop-and-search powers, where officers don’t require suspicion that a person has been involved in a crime, against black people than white people (http://www.irr.org.uk/research/statistics/criminal-justice/). On top of this, BAME people die disproportionately as a result of use of force or restraint by the police (https://www.inquest.org.uk/bame-deaths-in-police-custody). As an MP, it is your duty to serve and help the people in your constituency. And as a member of your constituency, it is my duty to ask what you’re doing to help. So, what exactly have you done to combat racism in the UK on a national and local level? Have you introduced any legislation in parliament that actively aims to either fight racism or lift people of colour out of a disadvantaged position? What measures have you taken to ensure that racism within our community isn’t allowed to thrive? I would also like detailed responses to these questions.

I want you to understand how important the issue of racism is to me. The systematic oppression of nonwhite people needs to be actively fought against if we as a country truly believe that all people are born equal. The inaction of politicians to fight racism is not something that any reasonable person can stand for anymore. If you set out to make a change, it can happen. But it won’t happen if you stand by and let it happen.

Thank you for taking the time to read this email. I hope you take the issues I have raised seriously. I look forward to reading your response.

Black Lives Matter.

Sincerely,

[YOUR NAME HERE]

 

 

______________________________________________

 

 

Dear x,

My name is [YOUR NAME] and I am a member of your constituency writing today to call for justice on the behalf of Belly Mujinga and her family. I am calling for accountability to be taken by the British Transport Police (BTP), Transport for London (TfL), and Govia Thameslink Railway (GTR) and for her case to be taken to the Crown Prosecution Service. 

Based on the 2011 census, we see that 6.92% of the population identify as Asian or Asian British, 3.01% as Black or Black British, 1.98% as Mixed or Mixed British, and 0.92% as Other.  We, as a nation, have a duty to uphold British values and ensure its citizens feel safe, respected, and represented, regardless of which ethnic minority they identify as. 

The recent events taking place in America have only highlighted the growing divide in society wherein people of colour are at constant risk of death or abuse during everyday life. The UK government needs to take a stance to prevent this form of overt racist violence from taking root in the UK, and by setting this precedent, other countries will be pushed to follow our stand against racism.

I am outraged and saddened by this death and, like many others, feel that Belly Mujinga’s case has been handled extremely poorly by the BTP. We truly do not feel like all has been done to “establish the full circumstances of what happened on 21 March” and have no confidence that her family will be adequately supported during the time of this pandemic.


A pressing question myself and many others have is why Belly’s requests to work away from crowds during the pandemic were ignored. It was known by GTR that she was a vulnerable person in the ‘at risk’ category, so why was she placed in the front line on the concourse of Victoria Station, the second busiest railway station in London?

Someone must take accountability for her death. If the perpetrator of her assault cannot be found BTP, TFL, and GTR must recognise the responsibility they have over their employees and recognise they cannot shift the blame from themselves.
Now is not the time for complacency; we are living through one of the most difficult and strange upheavals of normal life, but the lives of minorities cannot be classed as secondary afterthoughts for those in power. I am asking for MPs to not be silent on this. For the Mayor to not be silent on this. For BTP, TFL and GTR to take accountability. Belly’s death was unjust, she did not sacrifice herself and her memory must never die out.

Again, I implore you to push for justice, not just for Belly, but to prevent future tragedies like this from happening again. We must set a clear example for the world to see that racism and discrimination have no place in our laws, in our practices, and amongst our people. 

 

Yours sincerely,

 

________________________________________________

Dear MP,

I write to you as a resident of [constituency] concerning the state of current affairs as regards the global mistreatment of black people.

I was shocked and alarmed to see that the President of the United States yesterday called for military intervention on US soil and encouraged his citizens to bear arms in order to combat the protests that have been taking place across America. This is just another step in his continued violent suppression of black Americans as they demonstrate against the unjust killing of George Floyd.

In light of US leadership’s condoning of police brutality, I call upon you and the UK government to condemn President Trump’s use of force against his own people.

In addition, I also ask that you move to suspend UK sales of tear gas, riot shields, and rubber bullets to the US, as we see each of these used in increasingly cruel ways to deprive Americans of their right to protest.

Closer to home, I am sure that you are aware that sister demonstrations regarding the fact that Black Lives Matter have been taking place across the UK. As a country, we also need to acknowledge our role in unjust deaths of black individuals, and push for the fair and just treatment of black British residents. Following the publication of the report on disproportionate BAME deaths in the COVID-19 pandemic, I urge you to push for answers and address the systems that have allowed black (and other minority ethnic) people to suffer.

I hope that I can count on you – trust that I will be in contact regarding further instances of injustice when and if they arise.

Yours sincerely,

NAME

[Include your full postal address here]

Black Businesses to Support

Ascension Earth

New Origin Shop

Organically Bath & Beauty 

BLK MKT Vintage 

Beauty Bakerie Makeup

The Lip Bar

Josephine Cosmetics

Obia Naturals

Nola Skinsentials

Brother Vellies

Nubian Skin

Zou Xou Shoes

Salone Monet

Dareales

Love Vera

Cushnie

Lorell Gold

Golde

Plant Apothecary

Oui The People

Lauren Napier Beauty 

Wild Lather

Mented

The Honey Pot

Alexandra Winbush

Heal Haus

Briogeo

Sincerely TommyFe Noel

Third Crown

Want Les Essentiels

Martine Rose

Edas

Pyer Moss

Omi Woods

Combine des Filles

Lolly Lolly Ceramics

Actually Curious

Linoto

Isatu Hyde

The Spice Suite

Darryl Carter Design

Trade Street Jam

Cook by Color

Unwrp

Lit Brooklyn

Cleo Wade

Coloring Pins 

Brave and Kind Books

Semicolon

Brain Lair Books

Afriware Books

Mahogany Books

Uncle Bobbie’s 

Hakim’s Bookstore

Harriot’s Bookshop

Ashay By the Bay 

Eso Won Books

The Lit Bar

Cafe con Libros 

Pottery by Osa

Linoto

Aya Paper

Hello Yowie

Goodee World

Clare Paint

Lichen NYC

Isatu Hyde

Ceramic Meltdown

The Jungalow

Bole Road Textiles

The Lam Label

Ethel’s Club

Black Pepper Paperie Co. 

Nur Ceramics

Honey Dipped Essentials

Naked Clay Ceramics

Brooklyn Blooms NYC

Natty Garden

Hilton Carter

Sustainable Home Goods

The Handmade & Co. 

Rayo and Honey

Nu Vintage Market

Sadie and Dee

Harper Iman Dolls

Bijoux Lu and Co. 

Shop See Phillips

Sonshine Bath

Breed Love Beauty Co. 

Motherland Essentials

Cloth and Paper

Timeless Goods

Paper Rehab

The Crafted Prints

The House of Roushey

Danielle Helena Music

Divine Purity

Our Lovely Goods

Scent and Fire

Light My Candle Co. 

Unlax Candles

SE Candle Co. 

Elon WIck Candle Co.

My Swanky Designs

Vintage and Divinity

Sweet Nothings by Taniesha

The Independent Youth

The Baked Clay Studio

Rony Studio

Simply Artrageous

Small Talk Handmade

BR Design Co. 

  1. Raveene

Bobbi Made This

Xoxo Bijou

Unsun Cosmetics

The 19th DC

The Grace Made

Kaleidadope

Little Likes Kids

Eugenia Shea

O Dolly Dearest

Cool Urban Hippie

Irie Life Reggae Shop