Tips on calling out your racist family & friends

CALL OUT YOUR RACIST FAMILY. CALL OUT YOUR RACIST FRIENDS. CALL OUT RACIST STRANGERS. CALL OUT ANYONE WHO IS RESPONDING TO “BLACK LIVES MATTER” WITH “ALL LIVES MATTER”. DON’T BITE YOUR TONGUE TO SAVE RELATIONSHIPS WITH SHITTY PEOPLE. 

Racism is not a difference of opinion. Racism is dehumanising oppression. It’s a difference in morality. White people, it’s our job to call out other white people when they’re saying or expressing racist things, however “unintentional” it may be. 
You’re an ally? Prove it. Stop hiding behind the shadows of racists because you’ve known them all your life. 
Call out your racist family, friends, acquaintances. You cannot support a movement while the people closest to you are being racist.  
Hold them accountable for the bigotry they spew. Talk to them, have conversations with them about racism in your area, the history of white supremacy, our contribution to our racist society and ways that we can change and be actively anti-racist. Call them and out and try and educate them. And if they don’t listen? Cya hun.  
Do not defend or enable that shit. This is not a difference in opinion. This is a difference is morality.  

I have personally got no trouble cutting off family, friends, neighbors, colleagues or followers who are racist, defend racism or support racists. This is not something I will overlook. If you think just because we are connected in some way that I will accept that in you, you are mistaken. 

TIPS:
1. Understand that you cannot single-handedly change a person’s mind if they are not ready to do so. Don’t expect immediate change. In fact, don’t expect change at all. Walk into the conversation being aware of that. Lower your expectations. 
 
2. Stay calm. Even if things get heated, remain calm. Think about what you’re going to say before you say it and don’t let their behavior/response effect the way you communicate.  
 
3. Understand that some people will listen and some people will not. You cannot help everybody. Don’t burn yourself out on people who are not willing to learn. 
 
4. When a racist comment or joke is made, act dim. Pretend you don’t understand what they mean. They will then have to explain exactly what they meant, forcing them to break down their racism for you. (This is a personal favorite)  

5. Don’t raise your voice. Monitor your tone. Don’t give them ammunition. By this I mean, if you raise your voice and swear at them, they then have the opportunity to say things like “We couldn’t even have a sensible discussion because they were shouting and swearing at me!”. Do not give them that opportunity.   

6. Use accessible language. Using language they don’t understand without explanation can often look like you are trying to assert dominance. People who are convinced they are right don’t want to feel like they are less educated than the person they are talking to and are therefore unlikely to ask you for definitions, in fear of looking stupid.  

7. Instead, it is likely they will get angry. The easier it is to understand, the harder it is to reject. 

8. Recognise that you are about to challenge their views. This will threaten them and when people feel threatened, they will fight, freeze or flee. Be prepared for them to argue or get nasty. Try to remain calm. 

9. State the facts. Say the definitions. Your job is not to win an argument. Your job is to educate. Teach with facts, do not fight with opinion. 

10. Approach with facts rather than emotion. As frustrating as this is, it will help. People have a hard time believing that you can be emotional AND correct.  

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