A brief note on boundaries

I’ve been working on my own personal boundaries so much over the last 6 months and my life and my mental and physical health has changed drastically from the day I started setting them. However, as beneficial as this has been it has also come with losing a few people I once held dear. Once I set some boundaries with family and friends, I started to realise just how many people took advantage of me being a people pleaser. I used to HATE being disliked (and still do to some extent) so would do anything for anybody at any given point. That shit was UNHEALTHY. Now that I no longer do this or no longer keep quiet about things that upset me, I’m “difficult” or “dramatic” or have even been accused of losing love for certain people. That is simply not true. I still love these people but I love and respect myself more than to allow myself to be exhausted by the unhealthy methods I used to use to show love. Setting boundaries is GENEROUS. Boundaries teach others how to love us. Never feel guilty for saying no. Or for loving yourself enough to no longer accept what you used to. You disrespect yourself every time you say yes when you really mean no, or when you give in to something you don’t want to do, or when you compromise your own comfort to please others. If people respond poorly to your boundaries, then it’s time to tell those people to fuck off. They don’t respect you or your needs. Don’t allow yourself to be treated poorly just because you love them. Love yourself more bitch!!

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